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The Zoo 4: Stomachs
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The Zoo 4 - Stomachs (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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Maths.ade
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1978-03-09
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*!EOM
89
2431Y00F07futurax24Y00J1Y00C4Y00S1NMY MATHS CLASS IS DOPE
1435Y00F06avantg14Y00C2Y00J1Y00S0Y00C5NFishboy of Panda
0830Y00F11microknight08Y00J0Y00C1N
0801NI was talking to Citizen Fish the other day about college, he said his class
0801Nsucked and was full of arseholes. I told him about my class and he said:
0801N"Woah! Your class is dope!". I thought about this for a bit and y'know, he
0801Nwas right. My maths class is kind of cool. The following people are all in my
0801Nmaths class and they are all "dopeshit". NOTE: These are real people, their
0801Nnames have been spelt slightly wrong to protect their identities.
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C5NJAMEZ:
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C3N
0801NWhen I borrowed Jamez's graphical calculator I found he had programmed a
0801NDungeons and Dragons style RPG into its massive 32k memory. This game was
0801Nreally good fun and when you died it said "Your adventure ends here". How
0801Nfucking cool is that?
0801N
0801NWhen I asked Jamez about this game he said: "Its not finished yet, I have to
0801Nput a critical hit system in". When I asked him why all the monster names
0801Nbegan with a and b he said: "Thats as far as I've got in the book".
0801N
0801NJamez's does not like music of any kind. It gives him a headache. We are not
0801Nsure if it is the beat, the rhythm, the bass, or just the concept of music
0801Nthat gives him a headache and plan to wave pages of the "Complete Stone Roses
0801NFor Guitar" in front of his face to see if the notes "hurt" him.
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C5NJON:
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C3N
0801NJon seems to think that being a chronically depressed cynical fuck is cool.
0801NHe is wrong. Here are some things that Jon has said, I don't know what he
0801Nmeant by them:
0801N
0801N"I would'nt mind if I just died right now."
0801N"That woman with a pram tried to run me over, (shouts at woman) BITCH!"
0801N"Tamogatchi's are just middle class propergander tools."
0801N
0801NJon also has this thing were everybody is immature except him. But he still
0801Ndoes that "She's your girlfriend" thing to every girl I talk to: e.g.:
0801N
0811Y00C2Y21C1NGIRL IN RECORD STORE: Its a good album this.
0811Y00C4Y03C1NME: Yeah, I heard bits of it on the radio.
0811Y00C6Y04C1NJON: SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
0801N
3224Y00F05basic32Y00J1Y00C7NJon is a complete dick.
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00J0N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C5NKERRY:
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C3N
0801NKerry was obviously just doing maths to take the piss. She was always late,
0801Nshe never did any work, (in this respect she is my spiritual equal). Infact
0801Non one occasion our tutor threatened to "Chain us both to a desk" if we
0801Ndidn't hand in the next homework, hmm... she could have phrased that better.
0801NNeither of us handed it in. Our tutor broke her promise. Damn.
0801N
0801NAt the end of the year Kerry announced she was quitting maths. When asked why
0801Nshe said: "I want to be a vet". None of us can work out whether she was
0801Ntaking the piss or not. Kerry was also taking I.T.
0801N
0816Y00C2Y00S4Y25C3NNOTE TO ALL WANNABE VETS: Kerry was very foolish in quitting maths. Maths is
0801Na vital skill to all vets, take episode 130 of "All Creatures Great And
0806Y07S0NSmall":
0820Y00F11microknight08N
0811Y00C6Y13C1NMR FARNWORTH: So Mr Herriot, how big was Jesse's litter?
0811Y00C4Y13C1NMR HERRIOT: Well first she gave birth to four puppies. Then another six.
0801N Four plus six equals ten.
0811Y00C6Y13C1NMR FARNWORTH: God bless ye Mr Herriot.
0811Y00C4Y13C1NMR HERRIOT: I logged their times of birth on my laptop. Good job I took
0801N I.T. eh?
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C3N
0801NKerry was insanely cool in the number of wierd insecuritys and hang ups she
0801Nhad. Including this dopeass one about people spelling her name wrong. There
0801Nwas this question that went "Kerrie is pushing on a door with 50 newtons" and
0801Nour tutor made some lame joke like: "Hey Kerry! Your in this question", and
0801Nshe got really offended and went: "NO! NO IT IS'NT ME! MY NAMES SPELT
0801NDIFFERENTLY!" in a really hurt voice. Everyone just pissed it one laughing
0801Nand she didn't speak to any of us for the rest of the week.
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C5NTREVER:
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C3N
0801NTrever unwittingly invented the dopeass game "Concept Eye-Spy". We were bored
0801Nand were playing I spy and he goes: "I spy something begining with M". About
0801Nan hour later I gave up. "Its Metal" he said.
0801N
0801NFurther games of "Concept Eye-Spy" have included answers like B for Beauty,
0801NL for Lifeforms and my personal favourite A for Angles.
*!EOF